Wedding dress shopping, volume 1

So, this weekend my sister and I went wedding dress shopping, which was the first time I'd done that except for a brief and ill-advised foray into David's Bridal with my friend Jill right after I got engaged.

The reason we went was because I found a beautiful dress online and wanted to see it in person. The salon had it, although not in a size that I could try on, but it fit my sister. It's really convenient for me that I have a sister, because she and I have the exact same body shape except that I'm much bigger. We both have small chests, small natural waists, and big hips and butts. So if something looks good on her, it's likely to look good on me too.

Anyway, she tried it on, and it was pretty, but--I don't know, just not exactly right. Also, I learned something tragic that was confirmed over the course of the day. I had been pretty much set on some sort of very nice off-the-shoulder style. I thought it would nicely show off my shoulders and upper chest area, which are good features of mine, and be a refreshing change from strapless like most people are doing these days.

However? They have a design flaw, which is that it's impossible to lift up your arms while wearing an off-the-shoulder wedding dress. It just can't be done. This was confirmed through the trying on of many, many dresses in that style during the day. Given how many people you'll be hugging on your wedding day, plus the fact that you might want to put your arms around your groom's neck while you're dancing or something... it's just not a good idea. Form does not outweigh function in this case.

So, my sister and I were at this bridal boutique, checking out the dresses, and I was collecting a huge pile of them to try on, many of them just because of a specific element that I liked, like a neckline. Most of them were in her size though a few were in mine. I didn't like any of the ones that I tried on, though, or most of the ones that she modeled--but there was this one that seemed pretty in the dressing room, so once we had tried on and rejected all the others, she put it on again and we went out into the main part of the store to look in the three-way mirror.

There is no picture of this dress online, and I can't figure out why not except that I think it might be a part of Maggie Sottero's Limited collection, which supposedly does not have photographs online. So let me describe it. It's strapless, with a sweetheart neckline but not a rounded one, so it doesn't look too girly. There's some simple, pearly beading at the neckline, and the bodice is ruched to the side. The top part is made out of satin, and it gathers to the side at the waist with a beaded, flower-type thing. Then the satin extends down to the knees over a full, subtly embroidered taffeta skirt that extends into a fairly big, but not overwhelmingly enormous, train. When the train bustles up for dancing, it bustles underneath the satin part, so that it doesn't look bustled--it just looks like a pretty dress without a train. Also, it was ivory. It's similar to this one, but prettier:


Let's briefly review what I was looking for when I came into the store: a white, off-the-shoulder dress that wasn't too big and had little to no train. What's that they say about how you never end up falling for the dress you think you'll like? Definitely true, at least in my case.

Anyway, the dress is gorgeous and totally made for a body like mine--emphasizes a small waist, covers big hips and butt, gathers to the side which makes you look smaller, is gorgeous without being overwhelming, is full but not so full that it makes you look like a cupcake or bigger than you actually are.

However. First of all, it costs more than I had budgeted for a dress, because I was thinking that I could get a dress for cheap at this big bridal discount store near my parents' house in North Carolina. Second, I can't try it on for myself, so even though it's available in my size, if I ordered it I would just have to hope to god that it looked good, because once it's ordered, there's no returning it. And that's an awfully expensive gamble.

But what am I supposed to do that? I know everyone talks about having that moment where you know, you just know that this dress is the one and everyone bursts into tears and so on. But how can I have that moment when the vast majority of sample dresses don't fit me? Can I just assume that because my sister and I have the same body type, if it looks like "the one" for her, it will be for me as well? How am I supposed to know?

It's so frustrating, because assuming Weight Watchers keeps going the way it's going, by the time the wedding is here I will fit into those sample sizes. But you have to order a wedding dress six months in advance, and in my case possibly more because it will probably need extensive alterations by the time it arrives. So I can't wait.

And that's another thing. What the hell size am I supposed to order it in? I've been losing 1-2 pounds a week every week since June. If anything, now that I'm on thyroid hormones, that should increase. I've dropped about two sizes, really two and a half, since I started WW. Which means that I should drop at least three sizes, possibly more, by my wedding. The woman at the bridal salon said that most wedding gowns can be altered up to two sizes down, which means that I can't order it more than two sizes too big. So really I should probably order it two sizes too small, but what if something happens, with my thyroid or something else, that makes me stop losing weight between now and then? Then I'll have a really expensive dress that I love that I don't fit into. And I'll have all this pressure to keep losing weight just so that I can fit into my damn dress.

Wedding dress shopping is supposed to be fun and easy and all about options. And I feel really restricted, because my options are so limited right now, but I have to do something soon because my wedding is only nine and a half months away.

The next step in the process is to go down to that bridal discount store with my sister and mother, try on a bunch of dresses, and see if I find one that I like as much as the one I found this weekend, because if I do, it'll be a lot cheaper. And then I suppose I'll just have to guess at my size, and if I stop losing weight, then... well, I don't know. Find a really good corset and a pair of Spanx, and not be able to breathe on my wedding day because I'm laced so tightly into my dress? Here's hoping it doesn't come to that.