Friday, September 28, 2007

Why my bridesmaids rock.

First off, right up front, I should say this, because apparently I have never mentioned it before: Our wedding is scheduled for November 1, 2008. My bad for assuming you all were psychic. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

I know I just wrote about all the wedding planning I have left to do, but I also want to talk about one thing that I have settled on, which is the bridesmaids. There will be two bridesmaids and the maid of honour. And I just wanted to briefly talk about how wonderful they are. (Ha ha, I said "brief." As though I am ever brief.)

First of all, it's worth noting that all of my friends have been utterly fantastic about the whole engaged/wedding thing. Even though some of them are probably shocked that I'm getting married so soon after college, everyone has been super-supportive and enthusiastic and happy, even the ones who haven't met Torsten yet. And the ones who have met him go on and on about how great he is and what a good fit we are. I can think of at least six friends who would make fabulous bridesmaids and yet who will not be bridesmaids in my wedding. And they all know that, and nobody has pitched a fit or caused any drama about it. They all get that weddings are complicated and delicate and expensive, and none of them resents or expects anything, and they are all going to be there no matter how far away they might be living at the time.

But we are hoping to have a small, intimate wedding, so much as I would love to have all my friends standing up there with me, if I did, there would be as many people up at the altar as there would be sitting down watching. So I decided to keep it to two, and from there the choice was easy--my best friend and my closest non-college friend with whom I have the kind of relationship where even if we don't talk for six months, when we do call, everything is exactly like it always has been. Plus, of course, my sister as the maid of honour.

So, maid of honour first--My sister, two and a half years older, just turned 26. Living here in DC, got married herself in June 2005. I was her maid of honour and it wasn't a question for her either. It's just how it was and how we had always known it would be. I gave a toast at her wedding and she'll give one at mine, and it'll be great, and there's no pressure on her to make it great because she just will be. She's my sister and there just isn't a question. She is the reason I want to have two kids. The sister bond is like nothing else. There is nobody else who should be up there holding my bouquet and arranging my train and looking beautiful.

Then, my best friend--We met our freshman year of college when we were both part of Smith's community service organization, but we didn't become best friends until the beginning of the next year, 2003. We have the same name, except that she goes by Jessie, and our sisters have the same name, except that they spell it differently. She is strong and funny and smart and supportive and never lets me slack off and stay out of touch. She's living in a different country now, but she'll be back soon. We've been staying in touch over Skype and when I got engaged the reason I didn't update my Facebook profile right away was because I was waiting for her to call me so I could tell her all about it. I cannot WAIT until she gets back to the US in November and we will be able to talk for free over American cell phones. She gets it, and me, and I love her to pieces. We already have plans to go dress shopping when she comes to visit in February, and I am dying with excitement.

And last, my other closest friend--We met between our freshman and sophomore years of college, when we were both counselors at a summer camp for academically gifted high school kids. We were both 19 and we both had groups of 16-17 year old high school kids who were smart and knew it. They did not know how young we were, and it was our mission to keep it that way until the end of the camp. On our days off we drove out to the beach together, and after camp she stayed at my parents' house with me for a few days. We ran activities together and we signed up for night duty together and we made daytime trips to Target together while the kids were in class. We backed each other up against the returning counselors and their practical jokes, and we helped each other deal with the issues their kids were facing. We were counselors together the next year too, and we stayed in touch and visited all the time in between, and we still do. She was the first person I saw when I came back from my trip to France where I visited a friend of mine who had just been paralyzed in the hospital. I stayed with her in New York, and I cried to her, and she was there, and said all the right things, and didn't say any of the wrong things, and was genuine about it. She's also one of the classiest people I've ever met.

So, there you have it--the bridal half of the wedding party. Three people I am extremely lucky to have in my life. And let's just not talk about the groom's half of the party--because someone has absolutely no idea who he wants to have as best man and groomsmen. Not that I'm pushing him. He has over a year to decide. It's just my OCD side that wants to know exactly who everyone will be, and who'll be giving toasts, and which bridesmaid will match up with which groomsman. But really, it's fine. And at least I know that my half of the wedding party is exactly what it should be.

Lastly, a photo of my sister and me at her wedding:


  1. I love fall weddings, so yay for November 1!

    Also, THANK YOU for your comment. It actually brought tears to my eyes...and made me feel better. It's really amazing that although we bloggers don't know each other in real life, and only know as much as the others choose to reveal, we feel somewhat connected, like virtual friends. Thanks again, Jess!

  2. I love love LOVE the color of your dress! It's absolutely stunning!

  3. looks like purple weddings run in the family? :-) gooooorgeous pic. i love the way her flowers pop against her dress. aww yay weddings. i love weddings. hee :-)

    ps talk AS MUCH AS YOU WANT about your wedding. please.

  4. Oooh, I did not know you were getting married! Congrats! Your bridesmaids sound like special people for sure.

  5. Beautiful sisters! And a November wedding? I love fall weddings!

  6. Aww, sisters. I have a pic of my sister and me and her wedding and one of us at MY wedding in one of those side-by-side frame thingee, and I LOVE IT.

  7. I love that pic of you and your sister. And she had lilacs - love them!

    Your bridesmaids sound wonderful. I would like to trade. Totally true story: my maid of honor emailed me yesterday to say the alteration place LOST HER DRESS. Only after I appropriately freaked out did she email me this: "PUNKED!"

    Not cool. (And I can't post about how I want to kill her because she reads my blog.)

  8. Stephanie--I'm glad the comment help. I really meant what I said.

    The Fanny--Thanks! I loved it too. My sister was going to let me pick out my own dress and then we ended up having the exact same taste anyway and both picked out the same one in the same colour.

    Alice--Yes, we both love purple, and there's a never-ending battle of who loves it more. So far it's a tie. And I will probably take you up on your offer to talk about my wedding ALL THE TIME.

    Penny--Now I'm proud of myself that I obviously don't talk about my wedding too much, since you didn't know about it! So that's one less worry for me.

    Flibberty--Thanks! And so do I--much less sweating. And no running makeup from humidity.

    Tessie--That is SUCH a good idea. I'm going to steal it.

    P&D--I would kill her. And then post about it on my blog with grim satisfaction.

  9. Yay for bridesmaids and friends that remember the wedding is, er, YOUR wedding and not theirs.

    My sister had to deal with really narcissistic bridesmaids and friends -- "friends" who were so pissed they weren't in the wedding that she made up some extra "attendants" positions to keep them happy. They didn't do anything to help out or anything, they just ran around in dresses with coordinating colors to ours.

    After the ceremony they got all bitchy - right out there in public - when she had pictures taken without them. So, she had an extra picture taken with these two idiots included. Ridiculous.

    On a much happier note, you look great in that photo! The purple really suits you.

  10. I, too, love fall weddings - actually I'm jealous! We couldn't get married in the fall because of this little thing called "law school" that M is doing.

    Your bridesmaids sound amazing and you are ROCKING that color in that photo. For reals.