Quirks.

Swistle requested a list of quirks that I have that Torsten thinks are cute enough to tell his mother about, only to find that she deems them horrifying rather than adorable. And since I am one of those bloggers who aims to please, I decided to provide such a list. Keep in mind that many of these things aren't quirks, per se. So this is more a list of things I do (or don't do) that Torsten finds cute but his mother does not. Note that the commentary after each item is projected from me and may not actually be going on inside his mother's head. Depending on who you ask. Let's see:

• I don't clean the house very often. This is not a quirk. But it's something that Torsten likes to talk about, and something that upsets his mother.
• I have a very dry sense of humour. I make inappropriate jokes and comments that are so "adorable" that Torsten feels the need to translate. Then his mother stares at me before smiling weakly and quickly turning away.
• I burp fairly often. Sometimes quite loudly. Which does not fall under the category of "Charming Future Daughter-in-Law Behaviour."
  
• I sleep really late on weekends. Until it is no longer morning, sometimes. This is a huge waste of time. I could be up at 4 and have spent an hour at the gym and several hours cooking for Torsten and scrubbing the apartment if I used my time wisely.
  
• I drink a ton of water and as a result, have to pee quite often. Sometimes we're late because just when we're rushing out the door, I decide I have to pee and have to go back in to the bathroom. This segues into...
  
• I am not always on time. This is extremely inefficient and therefore un-German of me.
• I don't always save money at every opportunity. I will take the bus home instead of walking even if it costs me a $0.35 transfer fee if the weather is bad or I have heavy groceries. I will buy expensive leather boots instead of the $15 pleather versions. I often order Diet Coke instead of just water at restaurants even if it costs $2.50. This clearly means that Torsten and I will wind up in the poorhouse. Also, our children will be sorely neglected.
• While I am perfectly capable of grocery shopping by myself, I much prefer to do it with Torsten and will often make him leave work early to meet me there so we can shop together. This is a clear demonstration of my lack of wifely abilities to keep the household running.
• While I am quite responsible, I'm not an overly cautious person. I don't scrub my hands every five minutes and I don't think it's necessary for us to oversee every movement our kids make. In fact, I think it would be better for us to give our kids a little distance to learn how to problem-solve on their own. This apparently means that if our kid falls over and lands on its head on a concrete floor, I will leave it lying there bleeding until it figures out how to get up by itself.
• I'm not an aggressive driver, and I don't take out my driving frustrations by driving offensively, but I do swear at and tell off other drivers when they do stupid things (only with all windows securely closed). Sometimes if I've been stuck behind a really slow driver in the left lane of the interstate for a long time, I'll accelerate hard when I finally get around them, just for the satisfaction. This more or less amounts to putting both of our lives in danger.
• I want many aspects of our wedding to be purple. This is extremely un-frugal of me, as it would be much cheaper to get everything secondhand in whatever colour I happened to find it in.
• I love bad TV and make Torsten watch it with me. This pollutes not just my mind, which is bad enough, but also his, which is much worse.

Okay, your turn. What are your quirks or habits that your significant other loves but that their parents dislike (or would dislike if they knew)?