tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post1055738248246360520..comments2024-03-26T04:27:54.485-06:00Comments on Du Wax Loolu: On bridezillas as a conceptJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-75993189031794745962009-01-12T10:36:00.000-07:002009-01-12T10:36:00.000-07:00I'm not shocked by the review but it certainly cem...I'm not shocked by the review but it certainly cements the fact that I will not see it. <BR/><BR/>I'm so tired of all this sexist bullshit but sadly, like global warming, the Iraq war and this crappy economy, it ain't going to change.bernthishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05905337047538489562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-27255200573034295482009-01-11T08:45:00.000-07:002009-01-11T08:45:00.000-07:00I must admit I am looking forward to that movie. S...I must admit I am looking forward to that movie. So many movies are full of clichés, and most romantic movies essentially disempower the woman because that's how they are set up (woman's highest goal is to meet Mr Right). I take it as nothing more than a fictional fun popcorn movie, just like I take chick lit as nothing more than a fun read.<BR/>I realize that you are particularly affected for personal reasons, and I understand why you are angry (I wouldn't want to be called a bridezilla either, especially if I made a simple request like you did), I would be pissed as hell! People seem to be using the term basically to shut up women about their rights, but I wasn't aware that people actually called others that (and it seems quite common too).Vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16571250715197636482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-67259133675130977022009-01-09T12:59:00.000-07:002009-01-09T12:59:00.000-07:00I agree 100 percent with this post and I will not ...I agree 100 percent with this post and I will not be seeing "Bride Wars" either. Certainly there are women out there who let wedding-related stress get to them, but I can't hold them fully responsible since our culture puts such an insane emphasis on weddings as The Best Day Ever Or Else And If Anything Goes Wrong Your Life Is Ruined. (All of you above who were called bridezillas, I feel for you! And I'm sure you're really lovely people who were just standing up for yourselves.)<BR/><BR/>The sad part of it is, I <I>love</I> weddings. I love hearing about other people's (like yours, Jess!) and celebrities' and even my parents'. Why do we have to create more drama when two people are spending the rest of their lives together? Nah, I'm saving my Female Stereotype Dollars for "Confessions of a Shopoholic" (starring: a place I used to work!)Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15621027650985696321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-50611754402527152522009-01-09T12:47:00.000-07:002009-01-09T12:47:00.000-07:00Good grief! Somebody called you Bridezilla because...Good grief! Somebody called you Bridezilla because of THAT?<BR/>huh. That's ridiculous.bren j.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09132628402113226709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-81782572273307342512009-01-09T12:42:00.000-07:002009-01-09T12:42:00.000-07:00Hahaha.What does it say about me and my lack of be...Hahaha.<BR/><BR/>What does it say about me and my lack of being attuned to pop culture that I have no idea what movie you're talking about?<BR/><BR/>This was a very interesting post. I was a super, insanely laid-back bride, so the term bridezilla never crossed my mind.<BR/><BR/>You raise a point well worth considering. Sexist. Huh. It's the whole, "If a man is assertive he's a leader, if a woman is, she's a bitch."Ashley // Our Little Apartmenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13452050735921065657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-84301835902096792682009-01-09T06:32:00.000-07:002009-01-09T06:32:00.000-07:00Yeh, I think I'll wait for that one to hit the net...Yeh, I think I'll wait for that one to hit the netflix list. <BR/><BR/>Yes, I think the term "Bridezilla" is used to often. That is insane you got labeled that, for just wanting something that most people would say ok no problem to any OTHER day of your life. But, because this was your wedding day--somehow you are labeled bridezilla? Now. Don't get me wrong--there are some bridezillas--especially on those wedding shows on TLC about dresses and such. But, to totally make a girl look crazy for wanting things to be right, and easily handled on her WEDDING DAY doesn't make her a bridezilla.<BR/><BR/>Meanwhile, you watch mtv and those wedding real life shows and there were some grooms who could have been labeled GROOMZILLAS but this term is NEVER USED.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-51274955641976299272009-01-09T00:24:00.000-07:002009-01-09T00:24:00.000-07:00This is a great post, Jess. I think you captured i...This is a great post, Jess. I think you captured it in a nutshell. I had a friend whose florist screwed up almost every aspect of her flowers-- and, as you know, that is a lot of money. But can she be angry? No, because then she'd be Bridezilla. Gah.Princess Pointfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10911296163218358167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-32029485148352406142009-01-08T18:44:00.000-07:002009-01-08T18:44:00.000-07:00I am as turned off by the stereotypical ridiculous...I am as turned off by the stereotypical ridiculousness of "Bride Wars" as I was of that movie last year that I refuse to waste the time looking up the name of. "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry"? Something like that? Please tell me you know what movie I'm talking about. It's OK (preferable even, of course) ;-) if you tell me you didn't see it.Stefaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10128238432671375399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-65188792761898448342009-01-08T18:38:00.000-07:002009-01-08T18:38:00.000-07:00jess,first let me say that as a single gal, and co...jess,<BR/><BR/>first let me say that as a single gal, and coming from a non-wedding family (my parents had a private civil ceremony, my sister only had 10 people at hers) i'm sure that i don't fully understand the desire to have a perfect wedding day. <BR/><BR/>while i definitely agree with and empathize with a lot of what you said, i think the term bridezilla--while inappropriate, yes--is used frequently by us single gals who are often put in awkward and uncomfortable situations because many of our friend's wedding fantasies can create burdens for us. for example, i am the MOH in my very best friend's wedding (she is a wonderfully laid back, patient, calm, and easy-going woman), but several times she has been so ridiculously picky about minor wedding details: my shoes weren't grey enough (they WERE), she wanted "cerulean" ribbon which took 5 fabric stores to find, etc. not to mention the engagement party, bridal shower, couples shower, bachelorette party--all of which involve gifts & travel. and then the dress, shoes, stockings, etc. did i mention that i am a student, so my only source of income is student loans & i work 20 hours a week AND take 17 hours of classes??? <BR/><BR/>sorry for the rant, but my point is that it's very easy to resent a bride, who is certainly entitled to her dream day but often forgets about the comings-and-goings of her friends during the planning stage. i realize that it's a day that a bride wants to go perfectly, but is anyone REALLY going to notice if the champagne flutes are flared or classic? i think sometimes the details eat up the experience. does that make sense? <BR/><BR/>i do VERY much agree with you about the movie, merely from a a 3rd wave feminist standpoint. as i child i practiced my kung-fu kick on my boy neighbor, not planned my wedding. <BR/><BR/>i hope this doesn't offend you--that's not what i mean at all!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17148936625664484016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-45491329539393755972009-01-08T17:41:00.000-07:002009-01-08T17:41:00.000-07:00This is why I cannot watch most movies aimed at wo...This is why I cannot watch most movies aimed at women- they operate on antiquated stereotypes.SLynnRohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15016804259405363833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-62330083123915672482009-01-08T16:18:00.000-07:002009-01-08T16:18:00.000-07:00I just recently got engaged, and you have so beaut...I just recently got engaged, and you have so beautifully captured many of the things I am afraid of. I never thought I would want a big ole wedding, and now that I am surprised to find that I do....I feel *guilty* about it. Why? It's my money. I shouldn't feel guilty. Plus our families are too big to avoid a huge wedding, unless we were to elope and piss everyone off. But to be honest, part of the reason I feel bad about now wanting a big wedding is that I was previously so judgmental of bridezilla-y types, and am terrified of being one. Not proud of it, but it's true. It's unfortunate that social norms seem to dictate that you have to be One Or The Other - but it IS up to the 'audience' so to speak, as to how they interpret it, or how much they internalize. <BR/>Thank you so, so much - truly - for helping shift my perspective. This was the perfect post for me today!<BR/><BR/>PS - One of my commenters, Maxie, just told me about your flipflop bucket!! I think that is a GREAT idea!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-71594492998997828872009-01-08T14:58:00.000-07:002009-01-08T14:58:00.000-07:00I don't know. There are a ton of movies on subject...I don't know. There are a ton of movies on subjects that reinforce stereotypes. Doesn't mean people are stupid enough to walk out of the movie buying into it.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10436989792381600168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-14872602139268005702009-01-08T14:31:00.000-07:002009-01-08T14:31:00.000-07:00I couldn't agree with you more on all of this post...I couldn't agree with you more on all of this post. I HATED just because I was getting married that I was labeled as some crazed person whose fiance should be afraid to do anything, much less give opinions on wedding matters. Um, hello? I'm a sane person. Just because some woman somewhere along the way went nuts with her wedding doesn't mean I will. It happens. I've seen it. But not everyone is like that. Thank goodness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-80768591265503484572009-01-08T14:17:00.000-07:002009-01-08T14:17:00.000-07:00I completely agree with Nic. In my 30 years, I've ...I completely agree with Nic. In my 30 years, I've been both in and to my fair share of weddings. I think the term was coined to describe brides who think the world revolves them and their wedding, often forgetting about the feelings of those around them. <BR/><BR/>What's curious to me is why the term is so offensive to so many. If you didn't behave that way, then it shouldn't offend.Rhihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10743293325890261078noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-17008110330974828622009-01-08T13:25:00.000-07:002009-01-08T13:25:00.000-07:00i actually think i might see the movie, but i do n...i actually think i might see the movie, but i do not like the term bridezilla. when i was planning my wedding, i made sure i was being flexible for everyone. my sil was in a wedding a year or so ago and was annoyed by how the bride scheduled their every move for the entire weekend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-6120596470778046362009-01-08T12:57:00.000-07:002009-01-08T12:57:00.000-07:00I think you should sent this post to the people wh...I think you should sent this post to the people who called you that. Silencing people is never ok. Forcing women to think that they are unfeminine or out of place if they speak up for themselves is dead wrong in any circumstances. That totally steams me up.Mistyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01789220521394306503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-65735651996457827272009-01-08T12:10:00.000-07:002009-01-08T12:10:00.000-07:00I've had way more experience with mother-of-the-br...I've had way more experience with mother-of-the-bridezillas than actual bridezillas. And one experience was so dreadful and unfreakingbelievable that I should write a movie about it. Good idea, me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-51722625816871407812009-01-08T12:06:00.000-07:002009-01-08T12:06:00.000-07:00I don't remember being called a bridezilla but the...I don't remember being called a bridezilla but there were certain things that I wanted a certain way for my wedding. There's nothing wrong with not wanting wrinkles in your dress! I think what disturbs me more is the quick disintegration of the close childhood friendship between the two lead characters. Read the review you linked to...laughed out loud at the idea of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn crashing the movie wedding!Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09021149519641295915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-43667489139148632322009-01-08T11:05:00.000-07:002009-01-08T11:05:00.000-07:00Well said Nic, I agree entirely.The movie bothers ...Well said Nic, I agree entirely.<BR/><BR/>The movie bothers me much more for what it says about women than what it says about brides or bridezillas.BShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00443151591518184608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-59707511832753060222009-01-08T10:47:00.000-07:002009-01-08T10:47:00.000-07:00Yes, I totally agree with everything you write!!!!...Yes, I totally agree with everything you write!!!!! I have absolutely no desire to see the movie either. I've always liked Anne Hathaway and I can't understand why she did this movie.sassafrashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03452519826561552924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-63515446693581256402009-01-08T10:46:00.000-07:002009-01-08T10:46:00.000-07:00I think the movie looks funny, so long as you go a...I think the movie looks funny, so long as you go at it in a "suspense of disbelief" sort of way. Nothing like that would really ever happen IRL(would it??) just like how people don't really walk along and burst in to song as they do in musicals.<BR/><BR/>So, I'll probably see it.<BR/><BR/>Bridezilla really wasn't a term when I was getting married, so I never really gave it much thought. I like your points on the subject though.Salyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13792107257082868851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-33733156691905969682009-01-08T10:06:00.000-07:002009-01-08T10:06:00.000-07:00When people find out Tony and I are getting marrie...When people find out Tony and I are getting married, they always make comments like, "Just go along with whatever she says man," or, "Don't bother trying to have an opinion, let me tell you right now." I'm starting to get SO MAD about it. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's like I don't even have a CHANCE to show that I'm not a bridezilla, I automatically am.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13645215857071944428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-56441991807071610992009-01-08T09:41:00.000-07:002009-01-08T09:41:00.000-07:00I have been already been labelled a "bitchy bride"...I have been already been labelled a "bitchy bride" by Will's father (who would have used the term Bridezilla if he knew it existed) and it was because I said "actually, no, for me going to City Hall and standing in line would not be the same as having a wedding and inviting my family." But he's a ginormous jerk so.... :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-62868569429249833312009-01-08T09:21:00.000-07:002009-01-08T09:21:00.000-07:00Huh. Never thought much of the bridezilla label, a...Huh. Never thought much of the bridezilla label, although I was never called one either. It does seem sexist if it's being used to put down any woman who is assertive. Asking for your dress to be removed from the bag is about as far from bridezilla as they get.Pennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02864909952004392637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2119996845182958780.post-78466166712168510952009-01-08T09:02:00.001-07:002009-01-08T09:02:00.001-07:00I totally didn't stand up for myself in some place...I totally didn't stand up for myself in some places where I should have in planning my own wedding, out of fear of the bridezilla label. The car that was taking the groom and groomsmen to the church, which was an hour late, so we had almost no time to do pictures? DESERVED to get told off, and I didn't, because I didn't want people thinking I was a bridezilla. Love this post.<BR/><BR/>And the previews for that movie make me cringe, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com